So I sit her alone in the crowded pits of hell, wondering what to do next, do I stay here and suffer in silence, deafened by my own internal screams, or do I take this chance and run? I want to run, escape this hell and all the memories of pain and suffering these demons have placed upon my soul but can I truly run, am I strong enough to run? One thing holds me back within this eternal spiral of pain and agony, somewhere in this pit I lost my heart to an angel. He belongs not in hell but has been cast here for his self sacrifice, truly he belongs in a place much more beautiful, within the light, but he has been sent here and his wings have turned black, he has become my dark angel, my only source of hope here in eternal darkness. Never did I think that within this pit anything would force a smile within my soul, never did I think that my soul was even alive after being cast here. After being ravaged by these demons, beaten by these foul souls, carved out by my own hands, never did I expect to find an innocent soul wandering in this darkness, let alone to attach so perfectly to my own soul. Yet even with the love and devotion that I found within my sweet and deadly angel pain is still here. No matter how much I throw myself into our life together we are still here in hell, still in a world of evil presence. All around us are the screams, the blood, and the constant presence of pain. I know that I must escape the pain that echoes in these walls, I must leave these memories that are carved with in my flesh. I know that this will be difficult to claw my way out of this hole, to find my way to the world beyond the river. Yet I need to escape, but can I truly make it in a world without my love at my side? He swears to stay with me in spirit, but he knows he himself cannot leave this world he has been cast into. Can I possibly leave without him at my side, because even in a land of vile life love is worth it all? Yet here within this darkness I continue to let the demons take hold, they haunt my every move. They take my thoughts and turn them into things of ill intent and horror, they whisper in my ear everyday to remind me of the things that they have taken, of the way they plundered my body. I walk through this pit and find that visions of my past, of their touch are in every corner. Even within the safety of the house he and I built there are hidden images of the demons voice, his sent, his very touch lingering. So I know that to heal these wicked scars on both my shell and my soul I must escape the inferno, I must take all that I have and find the courage to leave this deadly land. Even if I cannot take my angel with me I know he shall always love me and I shall leave my heart with him. Someday, someday within the future when I find refuge outside this wicked garden, I will come back for him, and with all that I am I will help him escape this place. I will return for him, but only once I have the strength. Only when my wounds are healed, and my body is whole once again, because until that time, I am useless, I am too broken. If I stay here I will only grow worse, my body bleeding more and more as the days pass, my mind slipping away. Here I grow weaker, and more like them as the days pass. But if I can leave, if I can find refuge in a land unlike this, if I can find away to heal, to become the creature I once was I can save my soul…
But still I wonder, am I strong enough to claw my way out of this darkened world, or am I doomed to fall to the final level, that permanent stage before I ever reach that other land…